I have just came across this amazing powerful story by Laurel Christensen. At TOFW in Logan, she was a-mazing! This is the most powerful talk by Elder Holland.
“Yes, there are cautions and considerations to make, but once there has been genuine illumination, beware the temptation to retreat from a good thing. If it was right when you prayed about it and trusted it and lived for it, it is right now. Don't give up when the pressure mounts. Don't give in. Certainly don't give in to that being who is bent on the destruction of your happiness. He wants everyone to be miserable like unto himself. Face your doubts. Master your fears. ‘Cast not away therefore your confidence.’ Stay the course and see the beauty of life unfold for you.”
I have started something new. And this was just what I needed to hear. My life will be changed because of this new thing. I can feel it and my family can see it already. It is so important to stick with things that are positive and helpful. Things that can help with our happiness. Things that are positive and help us reach our eternal goals. I plan to face my doubts, to master my fears and to stay the course!
When I have my children, I then suffer from post-pardium depression. And I tell you what, it sucks! (And I don't say that word often). It is terrible to feel so out of control and unhappy.
I am generally a very happy person and so this was such a hard experience for me. (And I am sure it's hard for everyone, it's real and it's hard).
So, today I decided I needed to share with you what happened along my way, and why I have found my strength.
Okay, so let's rewind, a few years ago, I was super excited. My baby girl just came into the world. She was a bundle of joy. And then we went home from the hospital. She was hard, nursing was hard, and very very painful. But, I was determined. And so we continued. I then felt sad. I felt so unworthy to all the world. I felt depressed. I wouldn't look at my husband, I didn't want to look him in the eye (and I can honestly say, he did nothing to deserve this -- I just didn't like how I felt). But, time went buy, months, and then almost a year. At that point, I was getting ready for bed and pleading with my Heavenly Father to help me. I either needed to get medication or I needed an answer. It was late, and so I turned to my scripture and found something that guided me down a path to find strength.
So, I started couching myself. I became my own life coach. Yeah, people who pay for a coach. You can totally do it yourself. (smile). I'd send myself emails each day, I'd study on topics (just like I do for this blog) about how I can be a better happier person. And you know what it has happened.
I still get down (more often then I'd like). But, as George Bailey finds in my very favorite all time movie (and yes, I have already seen it - just a few weeks ago actually) It's A Wonderful Life! "I want to live again."
I am the richest woman in town! And I am so blessed to know who my Savior is, to know the church I belong to has the complete truths, that I can and will live forever with my family, that I have the most awesome husband in the world (who supports me always), that my kids are most adorable and funny and so full of goodness!
A few months ago I was visiting with a friend who asked me if I was happy. And I told her I struggled and told her my story and she said that I should share it with others. If I can help anyone to know that it is so true that the Savior will help us every step. Also in 2 Nephi 25: 28 it states, " . . . the right was is to believe in Christ and deny him not . . " He is always available to help.
