When I have my children, I then suffer from post-pardium depression. And I tell you what, it sucks! (And I don't say that word often). It is terrible to feel so out of control and unhappy.
I am generally a very happy person and so this was such a hard experience for me. (And I am sure it's hard for everyone, it's real and it's hard).
So, today I decided I needed to share with you what happened along my way, and why I have found my strength.
Okay, so let's rewind, a few years ago, I was super excited. My baby girl just came into the world. She was a bundle of joy. And then we went home from the hospital. She was hard, nursing was hard, and very very painful. But, I was determined. And so we continued. I then felt sad. I felt so unworthy to all the world. I felt depressed. I wouldn't look at my husband, I didn't want to look him in the eye (and I can honestly say, he did nothing to deserve this -- I just didn't like how I felt). But, time went buy, months, and then almost a year. At that point, I was getting ready for bed and pleading with my Heavenly Father to help me. I either needed to get medication or I needed an answer. It was late, and so I turned to my scripture and found something that guided me down a path to find strength.
2 Nephi 25:29 "And now behold, I say unto you that the right way is to believe in Christ, . . . "
And how could I dispute that?
So, I started couching myself. I became my own life coach. Yeah, people who pay for a coach. You can totally do it yourself. (smile). I'd send myself emails each day, I'd study on topics (just like I do for this blog) about how I can be a better happier person. And you know what it has happened.
I still get down (more often then I'd like). But, as George Bailey finds in my very favorite all time movie (and yes, I have already seen it - just a few weeks ago actually) It's A Wonderful Life! "I want to live again."
I am the richest woman in town! And I am so blessed to know who my Savior is, to know the church I belong to has the complete truths, that I can and will live forever with my family, that I have the most awesome husband in the world (who supports me always), that my kids are most adorable and funny and so full of goodness!
A few months ago I was visiting with a friend who asked me if I was happy. And I told her I struggled and told her my story and she said that I should share it with others. If I can help anyone to know that it is so true that the Savior will help us every step. Also in 2 Nephi 25: 28 it states, " . . . the right was is to believe in Christ and deny him not . . " He is always available to help.
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